I've set this little nook up to house some of my old Steam reviews, and some jabber about other stuff I've enjoyed enough to have an opinion on! I'm gonna begin with a review of the truly excellent "Star Traders: Frontiers" - actually it's more of a stupid little song, but people seemed to find it funny! It's not that helpful as a review, but if you've played the game, and have watched old Southpark episodes, then you might get the joke!
Star Traders: Frontiers
Star Traders: Frontiers is a space RPG from a development duo called the Trese Brothers (they are actual brothers!). You've got a massive open universe, plenty of written narrative, adventure, and lore. You command one upgradable (or replaceable) spaceship with a trainable crew of officers and crew in an evolving galaxy torn by strife, political intrigue, and alien threats! It was the crew combat that amused me though - the way the two sides square off against each-other, and the jilted way that they move, it reminded me of the Southpark episode mocking Russell Crowe!
So here it is, my non-review!
🎶"The good-ship Tugger, and Captain Russell Crowe... fighting 'round the 'verse🎶 we go!"
What's that Tugger?? A Princess from one of the noble houses has been framed for a horrific act of separatist violence?? Grab me' breath fresheners!! We're foighting our way into the detention centre!!!
🎶"Making contacts, righting wrongs, and foighting 'round the 'verse!"🎶
What's that Tugger?? You've sustained catastrophic hull damage, 17 of the crew are badly injured and are close to mutiny!! Hold me back First-Mate Mr T,
I feel a foight comin' on!!
🎶"Making contacts, fixin' fings, and foighting 'round the 'verse!"🎶
What's that Tuugggger??? I've forgotten to purchase (or acquire by nefarious means) the 18 electronic components I need to proceed with the mission!! ...STREWTH...!! Oi think oi've suffered a BRAAAAIN aneurysm!!
🎶"Making contacts, forgettin' fings, and foighting 'round the 'verse!"🎶
What's that Electronics Officer Freddy Mercury?? The doctor's failed her save versus Auto Immune Deficiency SYNDROME??!! Hold me back Mr T, oi fink me' shirts gonna come orf!!
🎶"Making contacts, failing saves, and foighting 'round the 'verse!"🎶
What's that Quartermaster Harkonnen, morale is low??!! You best look away NOW "Beast Rabban", or oi'm gonna stick my foot RIIIGHT up your Kwisatz Haderach!
🎶"Making contacts, the spice must flow... aaand...🎶
foightin' 'round the 'verse we GOoo...!!"
Utter gibberish!
Creativerse!
This is one of the good Minecraft clones, I enjoyed playing it immensely. There are many good reviews to choose from, so instead let me tell you of a tale of narrowly avoided tragedy! It all began just as i was finishing my first proper building project - a nice, two-story stone-and-timber farm-house (with a loft for all my teleporters and machines) it had taken me 6-8 hours.
I was adding the last few touches, when I mistook a mineral water block for a stone block, and that's when catastrophe struck! The block of water began expanding in my loft space, creeping across the floor like a menacing blue blob - I start bailing as quickly as I can with my magic-glove-thing, nada, it just keeps getting worse!
My bald avatar, Picard, is starting to drown!
I swim down towards the wooden floor (which is obviously ruined, glad I didn't fit a carpet) and start digging through it, this proceeds to flood the first floor, then the ground floor as I frantically remove blocks of wood and stone in my attempt to dig through to the foundations (to create a sump for all this water to drain into) - it just keeps flooding - it's like that scene from Fantasia with all the animated mops!
Picard is nearly dead by this stage, only the curative properties of the mineral water is keeping him alive... I swim back up through the lounge, then the drawing room, and back up into the loft - the water has become a perfect column of blue malevolence! But then I see it... the original water-block I placed, perched atop the column!... At this point I also come to the realisation that I care more about this figment-house than my actual real house... Quickly I create a ladder, and start climbing up to reach this bastard of a block, I pluck it out of the air, and watch in joy as the water begins to drain away through the gaping hole in the floor, oh Happy Days!
Moral to the story folks: get flood insurance!
I played the shit out of this during the first covid lockdown, I ended up making a huge "Howl's Moving Castle" with all kinds of turrets, towers, rooms, nooks and crannies, it even had a banquet hall! It didn't move though...
Vagrus - The Riven Realms
Critical fail, critical fail... this is a tale... of critical fail! Unless you have 50+ hours to invest in this game then I wouldn't bother - it is slow-burn and awkward to get into.
The various systems are irritating and difficult to engage with, but like most things worth doing, perseverence is rewarded...
The tutorial is annoying - it is hobbled in ways that will make you hate it. Use it to learn how the game works, then, when you are about to rage-quit (I know that's not a great endorsement!) start the main quest - by that point (if you can tolerate the absolutely awful companion combat) you should have enough knowledge of the game to attempt a rudimentary life of a Vagrus...
So, you have overcome the 10+ hour "North Face of the Eiger" learning-curve, now you can actually begin to play the game, and believe me it is brilliant!
The artwork, writing and world-building is stellar - it's doesn't avoid the standard fantasy tropes, but it's done in a way that somehow feels different to most "game" fantasy - it is dark, and leans into unpleasant themes that due to the current social climate most publishers would not touch with a barge pole for risk of causing offence. There is a lot of exposition, so don't try to digest every word of narrative that is thrown at you, skim it, then move on - the journal entries become more relevant as you expand out into the Riven Realms, and are, in fairness, done in an accessible way. The journal IS the game, you will return time and again to scour entries for information as it becomes prescient to your adventures.
The way it all ties together is astounding, no other game comes close, because no other game is as narrative based as this one, but it doesn't faff - many games give false choices - where it is obvious that you would agree Vagrus doesn't insult you by giving a "choice", it just cracks on - I like that.
I will reiterate how wonky and annoying it can be to play, the various menu's and sub-menus will make your eyes bleed, but they do work once you are familiar with them, and offer such surprising granularity that you will still be discovering features many hours in. As I have already said the companion combat is hideous - having played 100+ hours I now despise it, there aren't enough expletives in all the languages of the world to convey how grotesque I find its boring, blocky crapness - rock-paper-scissors would have been a better system for combat resolution... but still I suck it up, because the way Vagrus all fits together (as flawed as it is) is wonderfully compelling. You will not find a gaming experience as close to a tabletop RPG as this.
Critical success!
Shout out to all the people who critical failed and died whilst installing this game!
