Back in 2007 I was based at BATUK, a British army base in Kenya. I ran the Metalsmith bay, and was tasked one day to make a prize for some kind of event that I don't recall. What I do recall is being busy, but this prize was to take priority, because whoever was asking for it outranked me. "It didn't have to be big" he said "just a little Maasai statue to hand to the winner". So i decided to make it life size, because I'm an asshole, and that kind of shit amuses me!

🛡️ May I Present... Metal Maasai! 🛡️

 

Here he is taking form in the workshop, which, as you would expect siting right on the equator, was usually hotter than Hell's kitchen in a heatwave. Add to that welding coveralls, and lots of hot metal... it made for sweating the kind of sweat usually reserved for people who have just received a whole life sentence with no parole. However, that six months in Kenya was one of the greatest experiences of my life!

I wish I had more photos of Metal Maasai, but the fickle God of Hard Drives destoyed them as a lesson to back shit up!

I basically used myself as a template for the frame - traced around my feet, cut the tubing to the size of my torso, arms, and legs. Then I adopted the "spear and shield" posture to get the angles I needed for the joint sections. In the end it stood upright, balanced, no baseplate needed - once it was painted and finished it actually freaked some of the local guys out! It was only 12mm tubing welded together (with a rudimentary face), but it had a posture that gave it a kind of... momentum... it looked like it was about to move! Metal Maasi came out far better than I expected.

I wonder what he's up to now!

Here you see Metal Maasai stalking his prey, notice how oblivious his target is, utterly unaware that he is about to become another trophy in Metal Maasai's trophy cabinet.

Here Metal Maasai accepts a direct challenge from an overconfident rival. Metal Maasai is utterly unfazed, his posture is unchanged, despite the blatant bravado of his arrogant challenger.

Here Metal Maasai celebrates his easy victory with a devotee. As you can see Metal Maasai has graciously adopted his hunting stance at the request of his young fan.

I plan on putting some other stuff up here when I've got this website how I want it. I've got some pics from Ganners that people might find interesting - IED blast protection we prototyped on our trucks to see if it would save some limbs and some lives (it did!), a re-furb we did on a 14.7mm russian anti-armour gun that had been taken out by one of our Apaches, some tools I made using blacksmithing, and if I get off my arse, some arty stuff that I'm planning to make - I've deliberately left some blank space on the wall in my lounge as a motivator!

Heeeeres... a bit of pencil art!

Now I haven't drawn a goddamn thing in years. I can do the "technical" kind of stuff, but I've never been "arty". So after looking at all the cool art people have on their websites here on Neocities I thought I should have a go too! It's not great, but something about this effort amused me, so here it is!

It's a depiction from the 90s of my now departed Father inquiring as to why I hadn't "Done the fucking pots!".

A fair request - it was my turn to wash up!

Never gonna give you up!

Maybe I should! Pencil Rick Astley looks like he's seen some shit!

 

Someone ran around and deserted him, I'm sure of it!