You Want It Darker?

I've always been a fan of Leonard Cohen.

I am not a pious man

nor was he...

Neil "The Axe" Buchanan

One of the last children's shows I still watched as I moved into my mid-teens was Art Attack, because it was a great show! Neil Buchanan is a legend as far as I'm concerned, one of those understated working class heroes.

And he was in a metal band in the 70s called AC/DC... which had to change its name to "Marseille" because some aussie band stole their name!

Honestly, what do you expect from a nation of deported convicts! I jest of course, I love aussies, especially Mick "Crocodile" Dundee, "Dame" Edna Everage, and that kid with the metal boomerang from Mad Max: Road Warrior.

Ok Boomer...ang

Anyway... Back to Marseille; it's like Liverpool, but they speak French. I went there once on the piss, from what I recall it was very alcohol. Actually, now I think back it was Le Havre not Marseille... drunken trips to France tend to effect ones memory!

According to internet legends - being a Scouse band - the artists formerly known as AC/DC made the Liverpool/Marseille connection and adjusted accordingly. Although I think they should've just called themselves "Liverpool" to avoid any confusion.

Not a bad band to be fair, they supported the likes of Judas Priest, Nazareth and Whitesnake back in the day.

The moral to the story: a memorable name is really, REALLY, important! AC/DC, Art Attack, Brexit, MAGA;

You can sell all kinds of shit with a memorable name!

Disclaimer: AC/DC and Art Attack are not shit, Brexit and MAGA are.

Ka kaaaaah! Lazerhawk!

I am a big fan of synthwave, especially Lazerhawk. This is premium nostalgia music based on an asthetic that never existed outside of amusement arcades - it's Outrun music, it's Operation Wolf music, and it is kitsch and purpleypink neon-palm-tree-tastic.

Mix Tapes

I hear mix-tapes are a thing again, Praise Memorex, the God of Sunday top-40-countdown pause-button shenanigans! My Old Man was a mix-tape Guru, he was a consumate audiophile, his AIWA-AD-L40 tape-deck was £400 in 1981, I think that amounted to almost 2 months wages for him! He was a prolific, many-a-mix man of the proletariat!

I joined the fold in about '88 with this fucking luminescent contraption

The SRR 17 Stereo Radio Recorder!

I think they were available from Boots, and came in all manner of hideously garish colours; fucking horrific pink, puke green, septic pustule blue. Honestly, I have worn glasses since the 80s, I blame these horrendous colours for the systematic destruction of my rods and cones; colours out of space and time that could make your retinas beg the Elder Gods for mercy!

If you attempted to use this device while wearing a shell-suit you would be raptured up to some kind of polyester Valhalla, but instead of Odin, you'd have to listen to Girl You Know It's True by Milli Vanilli until the Ragnarök!

I loved my Das Boots radio. My first mix-tape had Smooth Criminal by Michael Jackson, Don't stop believin' by Journey, Alone by Heart, Johnny Come Lately by Steve Earle (featuring The Pogues), First Time by Robin Beck, Left to My Own Devices by Pet Shop Boys... Oh Lord, if I continue my eyes will roll back into my head and I will start fucking convulsing to the rhythm of Going Loco down in Acapulco by the Four Tops!

Pssst aahh Push It!

I would like to share another tale of music. The late 80s brought in another technological paradigm as computer sampling tech became more prevalent; Depeche Mode made good use of it, and groups like Bomb The Base thrived on it (Tim Simenon from BTB ended up producing for Depeche Mode)

We loved that shit as kids; acid house (all my schoolbooks had an acid man on them!), techno, Hip Hop, the girls especially loved Salt n Pepper! I remember Donita and Rachael Rogers getting up and doing "Push It" in one of our music lessons, and they fucking "did it!" the moves, everything...

Ha HA, it was awesome - Miss Rhoades almost had a stroke!

Rach could really sing - I remember her getting up and doing Promise Me by Beverley Craven, and she nailed it, the whole classroom was dumbstruck afterwards. Donita Cripps (yes that was her actual name!) was black and took no shit. I remember her mum coming in and roughing up the head master at our primary school because she was pissed off with the fact he used to force us to eat every scrap off the plate, Donita had launched her plate across the dinner hall "I'm not eating this shit!"...

Anyway, I am no musician, but I like good music..... I also like bad music, as long as it's good!

Everyone should always take some time out during the day to Jack To The Sound of The Underground!

Andrew Roachford, Britains answer to Bobby Brown... kind of. Loved this one as a kid, still do!

I've been rooting through the UK top 100 singles charts each week starting in '89 to jog some memories. I've come across a few bangers that I doubt I ever heard at the time - FLESH by A SPLIT SECOND is one of them